Welcome back, everyone! Season 7 of Bones has returned following Emily Deschanel's real-life maternity leave. She's noticeably fake-pregnant in this episode, and the birth scene is utterly cringe-worthy. Let's get to it!
|Brennan and Booth investigate a murder at a prison (credit: FOX)|
- The opening scene had me laughing out loud. The toe was somehow connected to a... metatarsal? I dunno, but it certainly wasn't a proximal first foot phalanx. Then the toe disappeared when Brennan went through an inventory of pieces.
- And, hey, can an entire sphenoid fit through a toilet drain? I had a frog come up through mine once. So I actually feel for the poor little poo-shy girl. It's been two years, and I still turn the light on if I get up in the middle of the night. But the frog was tiny. Sphenoids are huge. And funny-shaped.
- Why didn't Saroyan have a strainer to get the eye out of the toilet? That's just piss-poor planning (pun alert!).
- Brennan was really reaching for a sex estimation: maxillary sinus? Wouldn't, I dunno, tooth size be better than that? I know that those sinuses can work almost as fingerprints, but sex estimation from the maxillary sinus is only like 70% accurate.
- I wouldn't let anyone put rose water on bones. Especially not in a murder investigation. I don't care if it's "inert." Poor judgment, Miss Wick.
- The ends of the clavicle are medial (towards the midline) and lateral (towards the arm), not "distal" as Daisy said.
- Why did Lazebnik, clearly a white-collar criminal, go to a maximum security prison?
- Cocoa powder? And a crappy cell phone picture? Really? That would stand up in a court of law? (And those prints would even be there after 4 weeks? Along with the teeny bone fragments in Jackson's shoes?)
- I hate TV baby-birthing scenes. They seem to all be written by men who have never attended an actual birth. Anyway, many of my complaints can be summed up with this link to Angela's birthing episode.
- But really, Brennan's labor was way too fast (car baby!). She didn't warm the baby up afterward. She didn't immediately put the baby to her breast. These are things you learn in birthing class. And, well, as an anthropologist. At least they smeared the 3-month-old newborn stand-in with jelly. (Guesses at to whether it was Deschanel's real baby, Henry?)
- I simply cannot get over the manger-birth scene and the fact Brennan named her baby after Jesus, immediately following her complaints about baptism, religion, and mythologies. Do the writers hate Brennan? Because they're writing her as compromising more and more of her principles every episode.
- Let's talk about the characters' appearances back from hiatus... Deschanel's hair is sooooo shiny. I remember when my hair was that shiny thanks to prenatal vitamins. And is it me, or did John Francis Daley gain some weight?